Half-starved supermodels staring from the TV screen. The latest and hottest clothing brand screaming for you to buy it. A woman, her face perfectly made up and colored, popping out of the front of a magazine cover.
How’s a girl to recognize true beauty while being hit with confusing ideas of what “beauty” is?
I hope you already recognize that what the media portrays is usually the media’s idea of attractiveness and is not real beauty. But my approach in this blog post may be different than most. I’m not going to tell you to burn every copy of Seventeen and parade outside with a sign that reads, “Down with the media!”
I’m simply going to ask you: where is your focus? How much are you letting this image affect you?
Let me explain what I mean. I’ll give you a few examples of girls and you can decide where you fit.
Girl #1, Sally, wants desperately to be beautiful. She feels if her face can come close to the faces she sees on the TV screen, she will be accepted by the cool people at school, liked by the boys, and she will be happy.
She reads all the latest magazines, she buys all the latest beauty products, she diets and colors and make-ups and spends hours getting ready every day.
Girl #2, Mariah, hates the way beauty is portrayed in the media. She knows that the false image magazines, TV, and commercials show of beauty is wrong. It makes her so angry that she becomes obsessed with it.
Every time she sees another girl at school dressed with the latest fashions, Mariah automatically associates her with the image she hates. “Why do they think they have to dress like that?” she wonders. “They should know better!” She doesn’t understand why boys only like these types of girls, and it really bothers her.
Every time Mariah sees a negative commercial about beauty, she yells at the TV screen and tells all her friends how wrong it is. It all just makes her so mad!
Girl #3, Elizabeth, notices the image of beauty portrayed by the media. But she recognizes what its purpose is: to sell something. She knows that this doesn’t display true beauty, the kind she sees in her mom and her friends. And she doesn’t let the media interpretation bother her.
Elizabeth doesn’t subscribe to magazines that make her feel like she’s not good enough. She only buys the latest fashion trends if it’s something she actually likes. She spends time getting ready in the morning, but she doesn’t think about her appearance constantly throughout the day. She knows she is a good and important person, and this is good enough for her.
She doesn’t choose her friends based on how they dress or look. She chooses them because they are good people who make her want to better. When other girls at school look like they’re trying to copy the fashion trends of supermodels, she tries to think of something good about their personalities or their talents.
Elizabeth is happy and at peace. She knows what’s important, and she doesn’t let the unimportant things bother her.
Okay, so a little cheesy, but really, which girl are you? Think about it.
I for one know that there’s a part of each of these girls in me. We’re all affected by the media at some time or other, and that’s okay. But I try very hard to be like Elizabeth.
Do you know girls like Sally? I know we all do. I feel sorry for girls like Sally, because although they try to look good outside, I know they are just hurting inside. They don’t know who they really are, and that it doesn’t take every make-up product in the store to make them beautiful.
Do you know girls like Mariah? I know a few. I even know organizations like Mariah. They know that the media portrays a false image of beauty, so they spend all their energy and time attacking the media.
What they don’t realize is that the media is not going to change. Magazines and television want to look artistically and visually appealing, and they want to sell products. In fact, they often think of models as just another piece of art.
As much as we attack the media, the media won’t change. And focusing on everything wrong about it just ends up making us feel hurt and angry.
So how can we be like Elizabeth? We can acknowledge that the media image of what’s hot and attractive is about selling things; it’s not about beauty. And we can focus instead on what beautiful really is.
We can learn new talents, like playing a sport or an instrument. We can spend time with good people who make us want to be better. We can read good books and watch good movies. We can help other people and do community service.
When we’re constantly watching TV shows and reading books and magazines that promote this false image of attractiveness (or when we’re constantly getting angry about these things), it becomes our focus. It’s what we think about and focus on, whether we believe it or not.
But when our focus is on beautiful, wholesome things, this fake sort of beauty doesn’t affect us. We know what true beauty is, and we recognize true beauty in ourselves and others.
I challenge you to pay attention to what you consume. What kind of TV shows do you watch? What do you read? What do you think about? Are these things lifting you up and making you feel beautiful, or are they bringing you down and making you feel like you’re not good enough?
And most importantly, what do you tell yourself when you look in the mirror?
If you compare yourself to those oh-so-elusive models, stop thinking those thoughts. Every time you look in the mirror, tell yourself what you like about yourself. Tell yourself you’re beautiful. It may sound dumb, but it works!
An amazing teenage girl and I both did this for a month. We put up sticky notes on our mirrors that said, “I am beautiful.” And it really changed things for us!
As you come to believe you are beautiful, you will come to know what true beauty is.
So ask yourself: what’s your focus? Because when it comes to beauty and appearance, no one else can control what you believe beauty really is. Only you can do that.
Erin J. is a beautiful young woman who enjoys writing beautiful things about true beauty.
TRU: The Real U 