I trudged down the hall at school after a long day of classes and work and was starting to feel discouraged about myself. I looked up just in time to catch a quote posted crookedly on a teacher’s bulletin board: “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” –Oscar Wilde.
That quote instantly changed my frame of mind and made me rethink why I was feeling so discouraged. I usually get discouraged when I start comparing myself to other people. I am jealous of their skills, their accomplishments, their beauty, or even their luck.
On hard days, I find myself wondering why I can’t be just a little shorter or why I don’t sound as smart as the other students in my classes. Or why everyone likes that other person so much more than they like me. I wish I had a different life! Sound familiar?
This type of discouragement happens to all of us, but we have to find ways to combat those feelings before we spiral down to a place that’s hard to get out of.
When I get discouraged I remember that Oscar Wilde quote and remember that I only have to worry about being me. I get to work on being the best version of myself that I possibly can, and not just because Oscar Wilde said it was true. Each of us has a unique personality, and each of us has the ability to contribute meaningfully wherever we go.
So many of us spend so much of our time worrying about living up to what other people are doing that we forget to live up to the potential within ourselves. Instead of spending the energy worrying about how I don’t live up or how I don’t fit in, I could better spend that time figuring out what my talents and interests are. I could find people to serve. I could be my best self.
So if you’re struggling to remember who you are like so many of us do, here’s an idea that a friend gave me that I’d like to share with you:
* Make a list of at least five of your talents, skills, or traits. Enlist help from your family and friends if you need to because sometimes they can see us more clearly than we can see ourselves.
* Next, every day look at yourself in the mirror and say out loud to yourself the things you wrote on your list.
* Really look at yourself in the eyes even though it may be tempting to look away. And do this every day until you really believe what you’re saying.
* You’ll have days when it will be a piece of cake. You’ll have days when you want to resist and argue with every one of those points, but say those great qualities that you listed anyway. Say them even when it brings tears to your eyes or when it makes you laugh at loud.
* Eventually, you won’t have to remind yourself of your unique talents, but you will know within yourself that you have inherent worth.
Always remember when you look in the mirror to see yourself for the beautiful individual that you are—inside and out.
Marinda Q. is an English grad student who loves being herself!
TRU: The Real U 